The holidays are upon us and many, like myself, choose to cope with the Seasonal Affective Disorder and forced good cheer by self-medicating, and by that I mean drinking. Copiously. In point of fact, I believe that is the official activity for holiday cheer. Whether it’s to grease the social wheels at the inlaws, ease into the awkward office party, or anesthetize yourself to what will no doubt turn out to be a terrible Christmas, many of us tend to over-indulge on the holidays. However, after the embarassingly emotional tell-all to the father-in-law, after the incriminating photos have been taken at the office party, and after you’ve woken up on a strange floor, it’s inevitably time to deal with the consequences. By consequences, I mean the pounding headache, gut-churning nausea, and dental sweater; the hangover. Here are a few hangover remedies that may just give you an afternoon of your life back.

4) Water – This is a no brainer, but alcohol, which is a diuretic, has completely dehydrated your body. In fact, that headache that is making it hard to focus your eyes on the toilet is primarily a symptom of the dehydration. Drink an entire day’s worth of water (that’s 64 ounces) over the course of the first hour that you’re up. If you lose it (puking), you’ve got to replace it (think of it like rinsing out your stomach). In fact, if you’re not too far gone to do this before you go to bed as well, you’ll be saving yourself some trouble in the morning.

3) Painkillers – Two ibuprofen, not acetaminophen, before you go to bed (again, if you’re lucid enough to remember), and definitely when you wake up. Ibuprofen will kill some of the pain and will not do the damage to your liver (kicking it while it’s down, no less) that acetaminophen would.

2) An IHOP-style breakfast with milk, orange juice AND coffee. The grease from the food will cut the alcohol still sitting in your stomach, waiting to be absorbed. The food will help to soak some of that residual alcohol up. The milk will coat your stomach and prevent further absorption of alcohol. The caffeine in the coffee will get your blood rushing and flush some of the alcohol out of your veins, and the OJ is just good for you (though the acid may not be entirely agreeable with what’s left of your stomach lining).

1) Exercise – Yes, I said it, exercise. By getting your body moving (which is probably the last thing you feel like doing, you’re actually forcing your body to do some of the work of expelling all of the toxic waste you just put into it. It will heat up your metabolism, which will work to flush out the toxins it’s already absorbed, as well as getting your blood flowing. Sex (as a more attractive option), if available, may help too. Masturbating doesn’t count. I would take this step later in the day, as soon as you get your legs under you.