If you're a microbrewery, you need to employ some creative thinkers. Not only do you need talented beer craftsmen to construct flavors that are different from anything else on the market while still being delicious, but you need to market your brand if you're going to get anywhere. The best craft brews are distinguishable from each other just by a glance at the liquor store aisle. They've got unique box art, specific coloring, sometimes even specially shaped bottles. And they've got to have clever names. You can't pioneer a flagship brew if it bears a title too boring to remember. Naming a beer is a bit like naming a child; there's no hard and fast rule as to what's cool at any given time, but everyone will know if your kid's walking around the playground with a lame given name. You've got to have your finger on the pulse of mass taste, which is never easy. But these beers have nailed it with their awesome names and even more awesome flavors.

Raging Bitch (Flying Dog)

Well, that's not very nice. Oh, you mean in the female dog sense of the word? The always edgy Flying Dog Brewery brought in the Bitch as their 20th anniversary beer. A Belgian-style IPA at 8.3% ABV, she packs quite a wallop indeed. Come for the great Ralph Steadman label art, stay for the unique combination of American hoppiness and Belgian citrus. Even beer drinkers who don't usually hang around the hoppier end of the spectrum ought to be blown back by the Bitch's flavor.

Dragon's Milk (New Holland)

Aren't dragons reptiles? I know they lay eggs but maybe they're like the platypus: completely biologically nonsensical. If they did give milk and their milk tasted like this beer, the mythozoological dairy industry would be booming. Finding this baby on tap has been one of my more exciting bar discoveries. It's rich, malty, and so, so smooth. Just what a suckling dragonet needs to grow big and strong.

Arrogant Bastard (Stone)

I guess beer drinkers just like insulting monikers on their poisons of choice. I think the bastard in question is supposed to be the smirking gargoyle on the label. He's arrogant because he's drinking such great beer, which he is in turn named after. I don't know. It's a little meta for me. This potent Stone ale comes in an oak aged variety as well as its regular version, which is typically sold in pints. I'm partial to oak barrels but either Bastard is fantastic.

Wake Up Dead (Left Hand)

At 10.2% ABV, this ale might just deliver on its promise if consumed in too large a quantity. Imperial stouts are heavy business, and Wake Up Dead's no exception. It hits the tongue like a barrel of lead, only more delicious. It's only sold in 22oz bottles, so even if you limit yourself to just one, it's likely to do a number on your head. Remember, kids: moderation is good for you, especially while downing fancy beer. This isn't Icehouse and you're not at a frat party. It's okay to take it slow.