Beer Report

One of my favorite things in the whole-wide world is the failblog.  I recently stumbled upon this gem.  This could very easily be me on any given night.

Did you know that beer is liquid bread?  Listen to Lego people.

Seems like an awful lot of work for opening a beer, but I’m sure it impresses the girls. Watch

That’s what I call a treasure!

Beer, some people (us) love it, others see it as the root of all evil… well, maybe not all evil.  Anyway, check  out this story about a man in who is suing Tesco, a giant retailer in England for making him carry crates of beer.  The man who is a devout Muslim claims it is against his religion to handle alcoholic beverages, and that he was not aware at the time that this would be part of his job. Is it just me or is this one of those stories to be filed in the ludicrous files?  It’s not he was forced to pour the beer, or drink the beer, although I wonder if he had drank it if he’d feel the same way?  You seriously have to wonder:  Is this guy high on drugs?

From the ridiculous we go to the creative, this would make MacGyver proud.  Learn to make a solar-powered beer lantern, yes beer can light the way.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI), are urging MillerCoors to cease the sale of their new caffeinated beer Sparks Red.  The CSPI argue that Sparks Red is a danger to society at large.  The watchdog group claims that energy beer targets under-aged drinkers with ads that are appealing to that demographic.  They also claim that the caffeine masks the effects of the alcohol leading people to behave wrecklessly because they don’t know that they are actually drunk.  Lawsuits have been filed in 25 different states.

I’ve actually never drank the Sparks Red, but I have had the misfortune of tasting it’s weaker relatives Sparks Light and Sparks Plus.  Let me just say the stuff is nasty, it has a very poisonous effect, and the morning after you’ll have the worst hang-over you’ve ever had.  That’s just my opinion and my experience, I choose to stay away from the Sparks, even when I’m drinking on a budget.

Tastes aside, does the government have a right to stop the sale of this beverage, or any other of it’s type?  The alcohol is sold to adults, not minors.  And there are far more dangerous legal substances out there that aren’t being targeted.  If a person gets drunk they run the risk of being a danger to themselves and those around them, regardless of whether there is caffeine in their drink or not.  Why not stop the sale of whiskey or vodka?  Hey, bring back prohibition while you’re at it.  Right?

When I first heard of Beer on a Stick, I thought for sure that it was a new exotic flavour of popsicle, or something to that effect.  I was intrigued.  But, alas, Beer on a Stick is just a tacky gadget to hold your beer cup.  According to the maker of this product, Beer on a Stick will keep your beer icy cold by keeping your warm hands off the glass.

Seriously?  This product was featured on Donny Deutsch Big Idea.  Here’s another big idea, try drinking your beer before it gets warm, or try not holding your beer in your hands for prolonged periods.  Or even better, try a mug with a handle!

Would you drink a beer named after a drug-dealer? In the western state of Sinaloa, Mexico the Minerva Brewing company has been making a controversial beer named after the patron saint of narco-traffickers.

The beer named Malverde is named after Jesus Malverde, a Robin Hood-type who robbed from the rich and partied with the poor.

Mexico has been plagued with drug smugglers and a thriving drug industry from the dawn of time so it’s no surprise that in such a hard-core Catholic country even drug dealers get their patron saints. But not everyone is buying it. Many retailers are refusing to stock the beer in their store aisles because the name’s association with drugs.

The brewers of Malverde have plans to sell the beer in US markets, but would you buy it? Is this just a publicity stunt? Or is it supposed to funny?

After my last post I was left with a craving for Chimay, but my beer budget for the week was blown on school supplies for the kid.  I thought I’d never get my fix of Belgian brew, luckily a good friend of mine satisfied my appetite and my need for good beer.  I was introduced to a third variety of Chimay.

That’s right, there’s another variety of Chimay, it’s called Cinque Cents and it’s lighter than the other two.  It is easy to drink.  It’s lighter, less heavy and goes well with sushi and seared salmon.  It is also great by itself.  For those of you prefer something closer to a pale ale, you might want to try this one first, before moving on to something heartier.

When I’m feeling reckless with my money or I’m in a celebratory mood, I always splurge on a bottle or two of Chimay. Chimay comes in two varieties: Rouge and Bleue. The Rouge or Red, is dark-brown, has a fruity aroma and a sweet, nutty taste with a slight peppery bite. It’s not too heavy and tastes best very, very cold. The more popular Bleue or Blue, is a dark ale, copper-brown in color with a creamy head and a slight bitter taste. Both these beers pair really well with a hearty, meaty meal, or alone. Either way you’ll be satisfied with the crispness and flavor of these well-crafted brews.

Like I said before though, this is definitely a luxury. But one worth everyone of the ten dollars per bottle. Chimay is brewed in Belgium by Trappist monks at a monastery, all the money made from the sales go to the production of the beer and cheeses, the upkeep of the monastery and to charitable foundations in the community. So not only is Chimay an exquisitely tasting beer, it is also socially conscious and it’s made by monks! It’s got the stamp of approval of God. What’s there not to love about this beer?